Nightmares...written: June 07, 2007

What do you do when your worst nightmare...the thing that makes your heart begin to pound...that thought that makes you unable breath...the kind of thing you're sure would end you...end the life you've grown to treasure...that would just undue you, almost to the point of never being done up again. What do you do when it happens?

And when it happens, it happens so fast. It's not something you can prepare yourself for...nightmares, by their very nature, leave no time for preparation...

And then it's gone. It's happened...and you're left there looking at it's back. And yet you're still standing...and still breathing...and you can still feel your heart beating in your chest.

And life goes on. It moves forward...whether you're with it or not. And the rest of the world...they sit and sip on their cups of coffee.

Why are there nightmares? Why do they sometimes sneak up on us and show up in our waking days? Are they necessary? Could they be good, even?

We've lived through what scared me to my brink. What would make me sweat and panic...just at the thought. And we're still living. And He's still here...still true...still good...still sweet. And maybe, through this slightly nightmarish time, there's a bit more of truth, of goodness, of sweetness in me...a bit more of Him in me. And for that...maybe this nightmare is a necessity...