Walking Out...
(Written January 11th)
Life, typically, has twists and turns. Slings and spills. Puzzles and peculiarities. But it usually has a way of straightening itself out...eventually. But how long must I wait until things are straight? And how long must I wonder and hover...as this rug that I live on swiftly scoots it's way out from under me?
I am unemployed. For almost a week now, although the situation has yet to feel real. I was not fired (although I'm sure my former boss was glad to see me go) and it wasn't even that I didn't like my job (although I have been happier)...it was in response to something that was wrong. Unethical...immoral...illegal. And that...I've never been faced with that.
So, what does one do when that illegal something is staring them in the face? All of my moments of moral grandeur come flooding over me as that question looms, "Now what are you going to do?" And it's not an easy question...even in the black and white. It's not a comfortable question...and there are no comfortable responses to it. So when left with the choice of doing what is right or doing what is less messy...what does one do?
I left.
No job. No alternatives. No place to go. And no money...
And yet, there's a sense of peace in it. Peace does not, however, make it any less messy...but there's a rest, even still.
And the funny thing is...in these last 3 weeks...I've learned a lot. About desires. About my courage. About my strength.
And that...well, it almost makes this crazy ride worth something.
3 Comments:
I'm going to try to remember what I wrote in my first comment that somehow disappeared into blog vapor. I have converted to the new "Blogger" account. Don't do it; it messes up EVERYTHING.
I think what I said was that I am INCREDIBLY proud of you. Doing the "right" thing is not always the comfortable thing, that results in a halo glow above you. Sometimes, it is done in action that no one else understands, action that results in pain and discomfort. But, it also results in peace - like you said. You learned a lot, and you know more about yourself than you did before. You are made of stout stuff, Chickadee, STOUT STUFF!!
It takes vast amounts of courage to do the right thing sometimes. You are courageous. There's always a place(and a job) for those who can stand up against wrong. Wishing you well!
Just popped in here to see if you had written, and I find that you are going through a rough time. :(
Good for you for having courage, even when it's hard and costs you a lot. I hope that things have worked out for you in the two months since you have written this.
Thinking of you!
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