Some honesty...
I've realized something in the last few days. I've always been one to have a plan...an answer to give for that question...that question of the future; the how, what, when, where, and why of it all!
Blah, Blah, Blah...
The truth of it is...I have no clue what we are doing. I don't know how we are going to accomplish these dreams that are in our hearts. I don't know when. I barely can see through the haze of confusion right now to see tomorrow...much less months and years away!
This is a huge thing for me...a huge release. I've held onto my "plans" for my whole life...my future was thought out and, although not totally defined in all the details, there was a plan surrounding it. So, I've (somewhat joyfully) thrown this shell of a plan out the window. All the figuring it out...honetly, it's a bit stressful! I feel as if I've been holding on so tight to this idea of what "should" happen in our lives that I've kind of been keeping myself from exploring...of growing...of simply enjoying that feeling of the unknown! So, here I am...and I don't know the future...and I, for sure, don't understand the future...but I trust...I know that it's there...and it will unfold how it will...and I'll step where I am supposed to. And until then, I'll go to work...I'll read...I'll do my art...and I'll dance with my husband...and when an answer does come, I'll be thankful for it...
7 Comments:
Im sorry for my english, i just say that i think everybody is lost in someway, if its not professional, is in emotional field, or mind, or society, bla bla bla, and actually i think its a kind of nice have something lost...that way we have to find the ways, life would be too boring with every answers already made, but i must admit, im totally lost now in everyways...hahaha...too stressfulll..kisses..jaci from portugal
amen! good for you. one step at a time.
i am with you beth... We may be going through different phases of life, but we have a similiar struggle.... letting go of our plans and clinging to His.
Letting go is empowering - opening up possibilities you never imagined. I'm proud of you for taking this emotional step.
It is tough. And scary. But I like your ending here...it's hopeful. :)
Mmm beautiful! I feel the same way about life, always concentrating too hard on the what "should" be instead of enjoying what already is. It's wonderful when you're finally able to let go and I'm so happy for you that you have begun the release.
Well, you figured this out WAY before I did. The whole letting go of plans is a difficult thing. I think: this is how it has to work out. And then when it doesn't I totally miss the blessing because I'm too caught up in the disappointment. When I finally learned about a year ago to just leave it to God, give up control, go with each day, then life was so much more beautiful.
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